My return to New York City a couple weeks ago, almost assuredly marked the beginning, or at least an intensifying, of a devastating season of my life. A year ago, I was part of a group email from one of our church leaders asking us to come alongside a couple in our church whose little girl was fighting cancer. They needed fellowship and community but between Janie’s chemo schedules, sick weeks, low blood counts, hospital visits, and emotional exhaustion, they barely had the capacity to show up at church on occasional Sunday mornings, much less join a lifegroup and keep a social calendar. I was at the end of my pregnancy with Emmy and feeling great, we had cared for this little girl in kids’ ministry lots of times, and Addie knew her a little. So began a season of loving them and having my heart intertwined with theirs. And hope…deferred again and again and again.
It is the end. There is no more medical treatment-that ended 3 weeks ago. As far as we know, the cancerous fluid in Janie’s chest cavity continues to grow, making every breath a labor and harder than the last. She is not in pain thanks to steady doses of morphine, but she is restless, slightly delirious, and weak. There is no reason for hope any more. But, God.
“But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong.” I Cor. 1:27
Please pray for Janie today. Until she is in the arms of Jesus, we have hope. Hope that Jesus will make it stop.
Like the cursed fig tree in Mark 11. Jesus, if you say the cancer is dead, then it is!
Like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the book of Daniel. Jesus, you can rescue Janie from this fire. Be the Fourth Man! Let your presence be felt, and do not let her be consumed.
Like Jairus’s little daughter in Mark 5. Jesus, speak an “Arise,” over her!
Our hearts are broken, and the knowledge that the world itself is broken, that sickness is and will be part of this cursed life until Jesus returns, is only compelling us to rage against it in submission only to the sovereignty of God and not to the way the world is. We beg God to intervene. Son of David, have mercy.
Joel 2:13 “for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in love, and He relents from sending calamity.”
Jesus, please relent.
Big City ~ Small World 
I’m praying with you.
Thank you. Janie is with Jesus now. It hurts so badly, but we praise Him. Pray for Addie now. We will tell her together when Daniel gets home.
I think this is one of those times Paul talked about – the Spirit interceding for us with groans that words cannot express. May God give you strength and comfort, even through your tears. My love to all of you.
I ache for your loss and I can’t imagine what her parents are feeling. You know how some people say, “God is good, all of the time”? Sometimes the best I can do is “God is GOD, all of the time.”
Thank you, Susan. We grieve with hope, but childhood cancer…it’s different, somehow more evil, and absolutely unpalatable. Jesus, come back.
Sent from my iPhone